


Monsters Under the Bed

by Alidravana



Series: SEAL Team Week 2021 [4]
Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Angst, Childhood Trauma, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, M/M, Memory Loss, SEAL Team (TV) Week 2021
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:20:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29008941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alidravana/pseuds/Alidravana
Summary: Day 6 (“In my defense, he was already dead when I got here.”) Prompt for SEAL Team (TV) Week 2021.While the search for Ray continues, tensions continue to raise within the broken Bravo team.  Can the team help Clay when lines are crossed?Reference is made to events occurring in "Things that Go Bump in the Night".  Please read warnings and tags carefully.  Childhood trauma and sexual abuse implied.
Relationships: Trent Sawyer/Clay Spenser
Series: SEAL Team Week 2021 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2171745
Comments: 17
Kudos: 71





	Monsters Under the Bed

Clay sat down wearily, barely registering the loud clang his tray made echoing through the cafeteria. Bravo had just returned from their third consecutive attempt to try to get a lead on where Ray was being held and had come back empty handed. He was exhausted. He had taken so long in the shower that the rest of the team must have already eaten without him. Clay picked up his fork, knowing that even though it felt like eating would take too much energy, he knew that he had to eat something.

Trent wandered into the cafeteria, looking for his partner. Clay had been missing when the rest of the guys had eaten earlier, and he wanted to make sure that everyone had a bite to eat. The last thing he needed was someone collapsing due to dehydration or hunger. Noticing the familiar blonde curls hunched over a tray, sitting by himself, Trent headed over.

“Hey,” Trent said quietly as he sat next to Clay. He let himself sit a little closer than he might normally in front of the team, taking the opportunity of the almost empty mess hall. “You okay?” Trent asked, taking in the contents of Clay’s tray. It was a rather small portion compared to what Clay could normally put away, especially after a mission.

Clay shrugged, focusing on the repetition of the task in front of him - pick up a piece of food, put in mouth and chew, repeat. “Not really feeling like eating,” Clay finally responded. Taking a quick glance around the mess hall, he bumped his knee against Trent’s. “But thanks for the company,” Clay added, relieved that they had a few moments to themselves.

They had been spun up several times since they had started dating, and typically did an excellent job at keeping their personal relationship and their roles as Bravo 4 and 6 separate. But Clay was finding it difficult this time around. Not being deployed with Bravo for the last three months and now out searching for Ray, he didn’t know how else to describe it other than feeling off. He was so used to having Bravo around him all the time, and to have a part of that team missing, was just unsettling. 

The two managed to enjoy a few moments of quiet companionship and then Brock came rushing in looking for them. Davis had picked up another lead and they were all needed at the briefing, as soon as possible. There was no time to waste.

XXXXX

Clay crept down the dark hallway, clearing the rooms one by one with the help of Brock and Piper. He missed Cerberus, but respected Brock's decision on pushing for his retirement. Besides, Pepper seemed to take a liking to him as well. Up ahead, she paused and sat at the last door, indicating explosives. 

Brock motioned for Pepper to return to his side while Clay radioed an update to the rest of the team. Then, Clay checked for traps around the door frame. Seeing none, he nodded to Brock, and the two breached the door. 

As soon as Clay stepped in the room, he started gagging. That awful odour of burnt flesh and charcoal coated the entire room. Covering his mouth and nose with his shirt, Clay moved a bit closer and quickly confirmed that the men in the room were deceased. Slightly ironic when terrorists blow themselves up. The laptop near him was charred and smoking, but Brock packed it in his bag anyways, in case the tech team could salvage any information. 

The two of them quickly exited the room, Pepper whining a bit from the smell. They regrouped with the rest of Bravo and updated Jason on their disappointing discovery. "In my defense, he was already dead when I got there," Clay added, trying to lighten the mood, sensing that Jason was pretty pissed off about their literal dead end.

"Already dead when you got there? Really Spenser?" Jason said, grabbing Clay by his vest and giving him a hard shake. "Our only lead on where Ray is and you're cracking jokes?" Jason then shoved Clay against the door, his whole body hitting the metal surface with bang. "Move out Bravo," Jason said, not bothering to check on Clay as he headed to their exfil.

Sonny and Brock both looked worriedly at Clay, who had fallen to the floor in shock. They were concerned for their brother but at the same time, wanted to listen to Jason's orders. Trent waved the rest of the team on, confident in his own ability to check on Clay.

"Clay? Clay? Do you hear me?" Trent asked worriedly, noticing his partner had spaced out a bit. Clay didn't seem to be focusing on Trent at all, it was like he was somewhere else. "Did you hit your head?" Trent asked, hoping that Clay was still present enough to understand what he was asking.

Clay was having trouble figuring out what had just happened. "Is he angry?" Clay finally asked in a quiet voice, ignoring Trent's other question. 

"Maybe," Trent responded, pulling out his penlight to check pupil responses. "But that's no excuse to throw you around,” he added. Pupil reaction seemed a bit delayed, concussion perhaps. "Let's get you out of here, you might have a concussion."

Trent pulled Clay to his feet and quickly had to catch him from falling again. "Dizzy?" Trent asked, frowning when Clay timidly nodded yes. "Metal, I need you to double back," Trent barked into the radio. Bravo had cleared the building, but he was still uncomfortable lingering. Luckily, the team hadn't gone too far and it wasn't long before Full Metal popped his head around the corner. "You rang?"

Trent motioned for him to grab the med kit and Clay's bag, so that he could help manoeuvre Clay safety out of the building. He was pissed off. He knew that Jason was stressed, but you don't injure your own team members.

Full Metal took a few glances over at Trent, who was helping guide Clay around the obstacles and towards the exit. He could tell that his friend was furious. Stopping Trent just before they got on the helicopter, Full Metal offered some advice. "Are you angry because a brother is injured or because it's Clay?" He wasn't stupid, he had picked up on something going on between the two men. 

Trent was going to respond both, but then he paused and thought about it. He was definitely going to let Jason know that Clay had a concussion, but he would hold back on the words he really wanted to say until after they found Ray. He nodded at Full Metal, a silent thanks of some sort.

The ride back to the air base was quiet and uncomfortable. Clay was propped up between Trent and Full Metal, with Metal poking him every once in a while to keep him alert. It was incredibly effective - Full Metal was a very intimidating guy. Meanwhile, Trent was glaring at the back of Jason's head, along with Sonny and Brock. 

As soon as they arrived at base, the laptop was handed over and whisked away to intelligence to see if anything could be recovered. The team was dismissed. Trent insisted that Clay be checked out by the on-call doctor, and had his original diagnosis confirmed - a minor concussion. With pain medication in hand, and the typical ‘what to look out for’ sheet on concussions, Clay headed reluctantly back to their bunk area.

Clay could feel the pain in his head racket up a few notches as soon as he entered the room. Both Sonny and Brock were glaring at Jason while Trent was actively chewing him out. Clay could hear words like ‘how dare you injure a brother’ and ‘what type of example are you setting’. Even Full Metal was nodding along to Trent’s comments. 

Clay tried to slide past the team to get to his bed without being noticed, but had a stumble along the way. Full Metal reached out to help him and Clay couldn’t help but flinch at his movement. Rationally, Clay knew that Full Metal was one of Trent’s best friends and likely wouldn’t hurt him, but if you had asked him if Jason was capable of throwing him into a wall previously, he would have said no. He shook off Full Metal’s offer of assistance and crawled into his bed, pulling the thin sheets tight around his body. 

Clay turned away from the rest of the team and asked quietly if they would turn the lights down. He then tried to go to sleep. But every time he would get close to falling asleep, he would jerk back awake. Flashes of what happened earlier that evening kept getting jumbled with distant memories from his childhood. The rough grip on his vest, the shock he felt when Jason threw him against the wall, and the pain when he left him on the floor was overlapping with his dad backhanding him and telling him he was worthless, the older foster brother crawling into his bed at night, and all the other experiences that he tried so hard to not remember. He shuddered; this was supposed to be one of his safe places, with his brothers. But he wasn’t feeling safe, wasn’t feeling protected. 

With all of these thoughts running through his head, Clay jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Recoiling back against the headboard, Clay tried to remember where he was. It felt like his brain was all fogged up. “Don’t touch me,” Clay said firmly, but then became more panicked when the man wouldn’t leave. “Please…please let me go,” Clay whimpered, tears starting to fall silently. “Let me go, let me go,” Clay kept repeating quietly, holding his one hand up as to protect himself from a blow. 

Trent looked over at Jason, who was completely shocked by Clay’s reaction to his touch. Jason had come over to apologize, not scare their youngest. Trent motioned for Jason to back the hell up and then slid into Clay’s view. “Clay, it’s Bravo 4.” Trent said quietly, quickly connecting the dots that Jason’s actions had triggered another PTSD attack. Clay hadn’t had one for almost a year now. “You are safe. You are in Tunisia, with the Bravo team.” Trent continued to repeat this sentence quietly. 

Trying to convince Clay that he was safe was the first step. But Trent was getting really worried, Clay was almost hyperventilating and he still wouldn’t look at him. “You are safe. No one here is going to hurt you,” Trent repeated, shooting a glare at their team leader, who wisely backed up even more. Clay continued to cry, his tears turning into full blown sobs. Trent hadn’t seen him get this bad before. Motioning Jason over, Trent whispered “You and the team need to get out of here. And go get Davis, now!”

Jason didn’t even pause to ask any questions, listening and trusting the team medic instantly. He motioned the team out and sent Brock to go get Davis. He felt horrible. If he had known that his actions would have caused this reaction...no that wasn’t right. Jason knew that his actions were inappropriate no matter what the end result was.

“Why aren’t we in there helping Bam Bam?” Sonny asked, kicking the wall in frustration. The rest of the team lined the hallway, not really sure what to do with themselves. Their brother was in pain and they couldn’t do anything to help.

Full Metal closed his eyes. Sometimes he really felt his age. “Because we are intimidating, large men, Sonny,” he said, frustrated that he knew why Trent had sent them out. He could see the change in Sonny’s expression when he finally understood what Full Metal was indicating. 

“Fuck,” Sonny finally replied, sitting down against the wall. The rest of the team nodded in agreement and waited anxiously for Brock’s return. A few minutes later, Brock came dashing back down the hallway, followed by Davis in her pajamas. 

Jason stopped pacing and nodded at Davis. “Lisa, Trent needs your help.” He motioned her into the room. 

Lisa steeled herself, not really sure what to expect. She was surprised when Brock came pounding on her door, saying that Clay needed her. She was lucky that she was at least wearing a decent pair of pajamas and threw on a pair of shoes to follow Brock back to the barracks. She entered the room, quickly taking in the scene. Both Clay and Trent looked wrecked. 

Trent stood up and greeted her, blinking back his own tears. “He’s stuck in a PTSD episode. I can’t,” Trent faltered, disappointed and frustrated that he couldn’t help his partner. “I can’t help him right now,” he added, looking directly at her. “Lisa, I need you to sit with him. Keep telling him your name, that he’s safe, and where he is. If you need help, or if you get him calmed down, please knock on the door for me.” Trent rested his hand on her shoulder in thanks and then also reluctantly left the room.

Lisa nodded. She would do anything for any one of her boys. Clay was still crying, cuddled up on a bottom bunk. She approached him carefully, treating him like she would a scared child. “Clay? It’s me, Lisa. Or Davis, whichever you would prefer to call me,” She said, sitting on the end of the bed. “Clay, you are safe.” She kept repeating her couple of sentences, hoping to break through to Clay.

A female voice cut through the fog, interrupting Clay’s intrusive thoughts. “Davis?” Clay asked, squinting at the end of his bed. “Where are we? What happened?”

Lisa sighed, glad that Clay was recognizing her. “We are in the barracks at the air base in Tunisia,” she said, answering Clay’s first question. “In terms of what happened, I’m not really sure,” Lisa responded, grabbing a few tissues and passing them over to Clay. “Do you want me to get Trent back in here?” At Clay’s nod, she headed over to the door and exchanged places with Trent.

“Babe?” She heard Trent say quietly to Clay as she closed the door. She smiled slightly, that at least confirmed when she had thought was going on between the two men. Luckily none of the other team members were close enough to the door to hear the term of endearment, except for maybe Full Metal. But when she met his gaze, she knew he wasn’t going to say anything either.

“How about we all go down to the rec room for some coffee?” Davis suggested, wanting to give Clay and Trent some privacy. She started herding the team down the hall, knowing that there was no hope in hell that the rest of them would get any more sleep that night. But her boys would be alright, with time.


End file.
